Re: Direct conversation
Posted by
Steve Smith on
URL: http://friam.383.s1.nabble.com/Re-Direct-conversation-tp3137870p3140272.html
Russ -
Hi Steve,
I'm curious about your last paragraph.
On Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 9:11 AM, Steve Smith <[hidden email]>
wrote:
I
think that Russ was righteously trying to get Nick to "nail down" a
couple of words or concepts which Nick (also righteously) avoided as to
do so would very likely disturb the real point he was trying to make.
I will acknowledge that sometimes one makes a point by acting in a
certain way rather than by speaking directly. I find it frustrating,
though, when someone attempts to make a point to me by refusing to be
clear about terms but not acknowledging doing that. It would seem much
simpler (and less frustrating for me) simply to say that certain terms
cannot be defined precisely than to act as if one were being clear but
intentionally being unclear.
I can only guess at Nick's intentions, but I did not interpret his
non-responsiveness as particularly deliberate. It seemed to me that he
was simply focusing on the part of the discussion that he was focused
on (pardon the tautology).
In saying the preceding, I'm not criticizing Nick. He and I have been
around the bush too many times to start again. But I am interested in
your point. Do you really want to be treated as I described? I don't.
I'm used to people ignoring things I say or even ask directly... it
can be quite irritating and depending on how I perceive their
intentions, I may even be offended. Sometimes (usually upon
reflection), I recognize it as reflecting a different focus.
I take it as a basic value to be as clear as possible as
much as possible and to be clear that one is not being clear when that
is the case. Having written that I can think of situations (e.g.,
negotiations) when a dollop of ambiguity helps. But I think that's a
different situation.
Brainstorming is a common situation where people are not responsive to
other's statements/questions... perhaps this is a form of
negotiation... negotiating over what the topic is...
I hope this was responsive.
- Steve
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