Goldman Sachs in Talks to Acquire U.S.Treasury Department
Sister Entities to Share Employees, Money
In what
some on Wall Street are calling the biggest blockbuster deal in the
history of the financial sector, Goldman Sachs confirmed today that it
was in talks to acquire the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
According to Goldman spokesperson Jonathan Hestron, the merger between
Goldman and the Treasury Department is "a good fit" because
"they're in the business of printing money and so are
we."
The Goldman spokesman said that the merger would create efficiencies for
both entities: "We already have so many employees and so much money
flowing back and forth, this would just streamline things."
Mr. Hestron said the only challenge facing Goldman in completing the
merger "is trying to figure out which parts of the Treasury Dept. we
don't already own."
Goldman recently celebrated record earnings by roasting a suckling pig
over a bonfire of hundred-dollar bills.
Elsewhere, conspiracy theorists celebrated the 40th anniversary of NASA
faking the moon landing.
And in South Carolina, Gov. Mark Sanford gave his wife a new diamond
ring, while his wife gave him an electronic ankle bracelet.
by Andy Borowitz
--
Doug Roberts
[hidden email][hidden email]505-455-7333 - Office
505-670-8195 - Cell
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