Fwd: wordply

[Victoria Hughes]

  You mean no one has posted this yet....?

> MENSA INVITATIONAL
> The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers  
> to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,  
> subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
>
> Here are the winners:
>
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the  
> subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>
> 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
>
> 3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until  
> you realize it was your money to start with.
>
> 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
> 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops  
> bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,  
> shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
>
> 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of  
> getting laid
>
> 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>
> 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the  
> person who doesn't get it.
>
> 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
>
> 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.(This one got extra credit.)
>
> 11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these  
> really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's  
> like, a serious bummer.
>
> 12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day  
> consuming only things that are good for you.
>
> 13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
>
> 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter  
> when they come at you rapidly.
>
> 15. Arachnoleptic Fit(n.): The frantic dance performed just after  
> you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
>
> 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into  
> your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>
> 17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm  
> in the fruit you're eating.
>
> The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to  
> its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate  
> meanings for common words.
>
> And the winners are:
>
> 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
>
> 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one  
> has gained.
>
> 3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>
> 4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
> 5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
>
> 6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing  
> only a nightgown.
>
> 7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
>
> 8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
> 9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has  
> been run over by a steamroller.
>
> 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
>
> 11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
>
> 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by  
> proctologists.
>
> 13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
>
> 14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with  
> Yiddishisms.
>
> 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul  
> flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>
> 16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by  
> Jewish men.
>
>
>

============================================================
FRIAM Applied Complexity Group listserv
Meets Fridays 9a-11:30 at cafe at St. John's College
lectures, archives, unsubscribe, maps at http://www.friam.org