This may be the funniest thing I have read lately. Hope you enjoy the laugh.
Peggy ---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: <[hidden email]> Date: Sat, Feb 7, 2009 at 12:40 PM Subject: Fwd: boy bud To: "MacClellan, Maria" <[hidden email]>, "miller, peggy" <[hidden email]>, Mickey Pieterse <[hidden email]> ============================================================ FRIAM Applied Complexity Group listserv Meets Fridays 9a-11:30 at cafe at St. John's College lectures, archives, unsubscribe, maps at http://www.friam.org |
One more:
I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline... Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck. --Doug On Sat, Feb 7, 2009 at 5:34 PM, peggy miller <[hidden email]> wrote: > This may be the funniest thing I have read lately. Hope you enjoy the laugh. > Peggy > > ---------- Forwarded message ---------- > From: <[hidden email]> > Date: Sat, Feb 7, 2009 at 12:40 PM > Subject: Fwd: boy bud > To: "MacClellan, Maria" <[hidden email]>, "miller, peggy" > <[hidden email]>, Mickey Pieterse <[hidden email]> > > > > >> >> Subject: cowboy bud >> >> >> A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote >> mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new >> BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. >> >> The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, >> RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks >> the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and >> calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?' >> >> >> Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at >> his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, >> Why not?' >> >> The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook >> computer,connects it to his Singular RAZR V3 cell phone, and >> surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a >> GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he >> then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in >> an ultra-high-resolution photo. >> >> The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe >> Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in >> Hamburg, Germany. >> >> Within seconds, he receives an e-mail on his Palm Pilot >> that the image has been processed and the data stored. He >> then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected >> Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a >> few minutes, receives a response. >> >> Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on >> his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally >> turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 >> cows and calves.' >> >> 'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of >> my calves,' says Bud. >> >> He watches the young man select one of the animals and >> looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of >> his car. >> >> Then the Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can >> tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me >> back my calf?' >> >> The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, >> 'Okay, why not?' >> >> 'You're a Congressman for theU.S. >> Government', says Bud. >> >> 'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, >> 'but how did you guess that?' >> >> 'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy. >> 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you >> want to get paid for an answer I already knew,to a question >> I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me >> you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is >> a >> herd of sheep. . . >> >> >> >> >> >> Now give me back my dog. > > > > > > ============================================================ > FRIAM Applied Complexity Group listserv > Meets Fridays 9a-11:30 at cafe at St. John's College > lectures, archives, unsubscribe, maps at http://www.friam.org > -- Doug Roberts, RTI International [hidden email] [hidden email] 505-455-7333 - Office 505-670-8195 - Cell ============================================================ FRIAM Applied Complexity Group listserv Meets Fridays 9a-11:30 at cafe at St. John's College lectures, archives, unsubscribe, maps at http://www.friam.org |
In reply to this post by HighlandWindsLLC Miller
Great, reminds me of this old joke about "Referend Dan" ..
Reverend Dan was selling his horse. He placed his add in the paper and soon a buyer came calling. The buyer looked over the horse and decided the price was right for such a fine animal. Rev. Dan explained to the gentleman that the horse only responded to biblical commands. To make the horse go the command was "Praise the Lord", the command to make the horse stop was "Hallelujah". The man then handed Rev. Dan the money and climbed on the horse. "Praise the Lord", called the horses new owner. The horse responded by moving in a light trot. "Praise the Lord", said the man. The horse then picked up the pace. Amazed by this, the man then said one more time, "Praise the Lord". The horse then proceeded to run in full gallop. The man suddenly noticed that his new steed was fast approaching a ravine. "Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah", shouted the man. The horse then responded by sliding to a stop just inches from the edge of the ravine. The man then opened his eyes and looked down over the edge. He sighed his relief with the words, "Praise the Lord!" ..or this one about the "Talking Dog" A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black dog just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the dog replies. "So, what's your story?" The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten dollars." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?" The owner replies, "He's such a liar! He didn't do any of that crap!" ============================================================ FRIAM Applied Complexity Group listserv Meets Fridays 9a-11:30 at cafe at St. John's College lectures, archives, unsubscribe, maps at http://www.friam.org |
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