Fwd: Vol 613

[Douglas Roberts-2]

I particularly liked Robert Firth's contribution.

--Doug

--
Doug Roberts, RTI International
droberts at rti.org
doug at parrot-farm.net
505-455-7333 - Office
505-670-8195 - Cell

> ON DEEP THOUGHTS
> A day without sunshine is like night.
>
> ON HIGHER EDUCATION
> College is a fountain of knowledge...and the students are there to
> drink.
>
> ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
> A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
>
> ON YOUTH
> "Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not
> true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
> -- Steven King, 3/8/90
>
> ON PROBLEM SOLVING
> When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
> resemble a nail. -- Abraham Maslow
>
> ON MATERIALISM
> He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.
>
> ON ECONOMICS
> The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
>
> ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
> I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because
> someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the
> top. -- English Professor, Ohio University
>
> ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
> What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
>
> ON DATING
> When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the
> occasional division by zero.
>
> ON LAMENTATION
> Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
>
> ON POETIC LOVE
> When you're swimmin' in the creek
> And an eel bites your cheek
> That's a Moray!
> -- Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
>
> ON MODERNISM
> Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub
> with brightly colored machine tools.
>
> ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
> Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.
>
> ON EXTINCTION
> Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
>
> ON HUMILITY
> To err is human, to moo bovine.
>
> ON EXPLANATION OF THE END
> "... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was
> that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful
> termination of their C programs." -- Robert Firth
>
> ON PROPHECY
> The meek shall inherit the earth---they are too weak to refuse.
>
> ON NUMBERS
> Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3---not even for very large values
> of 2.
>
> ON WORLD POLITICS
> Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
>
> AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
> There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
> We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
>

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